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The Alchemy of Pain

Hey there sinners
it’s adam nox and welcome to another episode of the cult of you
today i want to talk about one of the most important subjects in my personal opinion upon this path the subject of pain how we deal with it because it is the single most unavoidable thing many traditions out there will try to teach you how to avoid it try to be detached from it many other teachers out there will tell you about invoking this or that power few of them really describe that the way that we grow is through pain it is through hurting it’s through breaking it’s through suffering in some degree or another in fact if things are too comfortable are you growing are you really expanding into new possibilities when we were born the first thing that we were greeted with was cries we were screaming there was a degree of pain in the birthing process but that pain gave life the same is true with all the pain that you’ve experienced you may have had pain that has repressed you things that have prevented you from taking action into certain areas today i want to look at the alchemy of pain when we bring about changes in our lives pain is inevitable because there is change that has to occur today i wanted to share some personal stories of some of the most intense pains that i’ve been through or some that i have transversed quite recently as well and continue to do so but the tool sets that i use to get myself through those suffering and painful processes and retrieve the ultimate alchemical goal of each and every one of them you are never going to free yourself from pain not while you’re in flesh you might as well learn to use it so that pain becomes a weapon a tool an instrument that makes you powerful and you can finally understand the messages behind masters of this art like jocko willock david goggins and even the brilliant jordan peterson who all talk about the value pain has in our life and how to utilize it sit back relax and enjoy today’s episode and remember live deliciously [Music] waving [Music] you know i suppose that one of the most difficult challenges for us to accomplish in life is to keep an open heart and to keep present inside of our heart despite the pain and the betrayal and hurt and everything else that you and i go through you know i know that for me for a very long time that was one of the most difficult things to do i would be betrayed by somebody that i loved whether professionally or romantically and i would go into almost like a vengeance state or i would become disassociated you know i didn’t want to get involved i wouldn’t open up into the next relationship and you know when i went through those entire journeys and i even got to the point you know as many of us do where you think you found the one and then you find the one again and then you find the one again and having these consistent breakings of the heart by the way if you stay to the end of today’s video i’m adding something from the old archives where which is a recording i did about six years ago after one of those those painful breakups and how i was creating meaning and art outside of that so so do stick around i apologize the sound on that one is not as good as maybe this um because i was a lot older and i was still kind of like learning some editing skills but anyway the point is every spiritual tradition tells us to be inside of our heart it’s difficult to be inside of your heart when your heart is hurting and there’s a philosophy that i have kind of developed over the time and that is to look at my heart very much like a muscle and because it is a muscle but if you go to the gym tomorrow and you do a proper workout and then as you finish the workout you know you’re feeling pumped you’re feeling good and inevitably two days after that oh saw her especially if he did legs now you can go oh man it’s a signal of pain i should stop i should not do that again and you’re never gonna get the growth you’re never going to get you know the beauty or the results that you’re after and the catch is we do this thing we expect that to be normal we expect it to hurt because we understand that by the muscle hurting oh it’s a good hurt it means it’s growing means i’m developing but we don’t take the same philosophy to our emotional body we don’t take the same philosophy to our spiritual bodies we don’t take the same philosophy to our own soul and our own psyche and this is where the big problem is you see that’s what a lot of people do they they really stretch the heart out emotionally they really kind of go through these experiences and romance and love and then they get hurt and then they decide oh i’m never gonna do that again you know it’s the same thing the fact of the matter is the fact that you got hurt is just how that muscle grows you know it grows through her well that’s a choice you can do that you can escape from life and you can now develop the cynic attitude of all women our ex or all men are why and you can go through life with this filter and understanding everything that you learn on this channel and everything that you learn if you’re studying personal development or magic or spirituality or any of that it boils down to this that whatever you think in your heart and what shows up in your life is always a match they’re always related and if you are not going in and healing those traumas healing those pains then you’re simply going to keep repeating them you’re always only going to attract women that’ll cheat on you or men that’ll just use you or whatever your situation is not because that’s all there is you know but because there are just matches for yourself now i want to also add a bit of a caveat to that before we get into the stages of how we deal with this and how this relates to alchemy you can you can go through these experiences and you can look at them and say okay i’ve gone and had positive thinking i’ve applied the positive thinking thing why or the right thinking or believing in things are always good why do i still get bad ones you know i’ve been i was an experienced quote-unquote practitioner for many years with great success in many areas of my life and i still remember i was at one point where i was peak you know i i had a visceral endless list of high quality lovers that would do whatever i liked i had high quality business partners that would constantly support my ideas and my concepts and then i fell in love with this incredibly beautiful person halo effect which i thought was beautiful on the inside as well who turned out to be an exceptionally corrupt person on the inside with no integrity but i was in the rapture i was in the floor of it because deep down inside you know well before i get to deep down inside the point was this individual that i then walked away from all these other great potentials just to be with this person turned out to be one of the my greatest judas you know the one that would betray me at the highest level and one would go oh but you had all this stuff attuned i had the skill sets developed so well i was teaching seduction when i was in my early 20s finding lovers was not a problem for me here i was at a mature age sabotaging myself in a relationship where i just compromised my sense of self you know for the sake of somebody that i loved why why do that you know if all this you know thinking positive thinking good you know having a positive narrative of the lovers why did i then still attract somebody that for all intensive purposes you know not intentionally not consciously this person even consciously chose to hurt me you know but they were unconsciously running programs that maybe at some point they’ll grow up in life and see differently but at that point they could not they just yeah so they’re not you know really that aware of what they were doing in in the first place but why was i somebody who was aware not subject not not open not able to communicate not able to step or put the boundaries up at this point why did i invest myself even more and that is something and if you listen to my previous talk on you know the sexual magic systems it’s this nature with this power of attraction you see nature will invest us with attraction to the things that are our opposites and the lessons the secrets the things that we have to discover in order to bind us into it so that we are forced into it so that we can’t avoid it you know if we’re just look if you get a workshop and i teach you a great idea or great principle inside of that workshop then you can leave and not apply it it’s that simple however if i invest you in an emotional relationship with me or i put you in a situation where you’re investing money there’s no just easy way out of that you know unless you have a lot more money but let’s say it’s a substantial investment you are invested inside of that experience whether you want to be or not life will do this in order to impart the lessons and especially if you’re a magician because you’re or anybody practicing creation of reality or affecting reality or even achieving goals in general because you’re going to be setting objectives to yourself and as you set these objectives for yourself you’re going to set in course a chain of events that’s going to lead you to it which means there’s lessons and there’s changes in who you are who your personality your vehicle has to alter in order to become the individual that you are meant to be and the catch of the matter is we evolve through pain and pleasure we evolve not through just simply joy it is not just what we say yes to but it’s also where we say no to these are the things that raise our internal standard of ourselves and the quality of our life these are the things that teach us perception you know in order to see the things i remember once upon a time i was in a serious coding session i’m a you know a technology expert by profession and i spent a long stretch just programming and i figured oh i need to kind of get away from the screen for a bit and i need to go practice some stuff at the point at that point i was practicing capoeira the martial art or the dawn’s shall art if you want and in doing that as i entered in the road as i entered into the dance this individual’s kick was coming he was doing a turning kick and as he was doing it i didn’t see the kick for the dimension i saw it here in front of me yet it was going here straight to my face my depth perception was impacted as a result of staring at screens that long that intently that i completely disassociated from what was going on once that kick came though suddenly i was snapped back in and i was aware of depth at a very surreal level it took a trigger of pain in order to stimulate growth and we need to understand this of a great value there’s a fantastic book called invulnerability invulnerability now that book along with a number of other modern insights from people like david goggins jocko willock jordan peterson all teach us about the essential value of pain and of discomfort for growth one of the beautiful ideas that book goes into is how one of the core differences between organic and inorganic material is that an inorganic material for example like this cup the more pain the more pressure gets added to it eventually it breaks down however with us as organic material the exact opposite is true the second we have less painless when lost life gets too comfortable that’s when we start to break down that’s when aging that’s when we start letting go that’s when we start kind of creeping closer to death however if we’re constantly channeling our challenging ourselves if we’re constantly you know working against some degree of resistance this is a place where it grows this is where i’m very against a lot of the kind of like right hand you know spiritual thinking um and those philosophies out there that’s just like all about love and light because the catches there’s no growth there you know there’s it’s an ideal it’s a good thing to constantly strive for that kind of growth and to constantly have that value and push for the boundary but you have to be able to be open inside of the pain you see many would ask me like so what was the lesson what was the good thing about losing that love losing nothing and being betrayed like that well for me it was at the end of the day very powerful thing because it made me recognize my false illusion of the feminine within my own mind you know i had fundamental perceptions that i still placed a lot of my own power you know outside of myself it caused me at that point in my life to only be certain portions like i could only be dominant and only be powerful i couldn’t be open i couldn’t be soft after that experience after going through the healing i’m going to talk about that healing today and i’m going to talk about those principles that are universal and how we can apply it in every area of our life and how it’s taught us in alchemy but as i went through that what it allowed me to do is be both light and darkness congruently you know i often say that darkness is from the sexual current and light is from the mental current and they need to find harmony inside of their heart in other words how can you go through hell and be open and remain open and not feel that you need to just kind of you know protect yourself you know david goggins talks about building calluses you know calluses from from that exposure calluses on the mind and calluses on the soul kind of a thing it’s the same thing you see the difference here between building calluses and setting up armor is that if i armor myself i’m never gonna get hurt right but i’m also never gonna develop a strong enough vessel to take on the greater challenges in life and that is what’s so important jordan peterson talks about the balance and this is a very jungian kind of ideal it is the balance that we need to achieve between suffering and meaning in fact that’s what kind of leads us into our discussion today so let’s look at those stages the first stage of alchemy there’s three specific stages inside of alchemy now we’re talking about here specifically psychological alchemy and emotional alchemy we’re not talking about physical alchemy or herbal alchemy or any of those things although i might touch on how that relates because in my opinion they’re all integral you need to approach from a holistic point of view which is an all-inclusive kind of point of view in your practice but there are three major stages in it it is negrito uh albedo and rubido the blackening the whitening and the reddening and the way we kind of see this experience in terms of alchemy is that i first almost need to extract i need to separate from and we see this also in another formula that’s common to magicians especially those of traditional hermetic and raw secretionary kind of lineages that is the er formula isis apophis osiris they’re very similar although they all have their own context but in the first one we have isis we talk about the mourning of isis so to speak isis mourns her past lover or her her husband uh osiris and this is very much what happens in the negredo face for us the negrino is the blackening it’s the death stage this is the point where we need where the thing that we have loved the thing that we want the world that was familiar is now gone and because it is now gone we are mourning we are in suffering now if you listen to my chat with conor kendall there was a comment in there about that death is not suffering suffering is a completely separate event from death you know it’s the same as in male development how ejaculation and orgasm are two separate events yet we have psychologically bound them together inside of our own psychology yet they are not they are separate things suffering is the result of longing for something or being identified with something that you don’t currently have access to or that you are not currently present of present in that means when you identify with the past and it is just that past your brain no longer has the neural highways to meet that because you’ve taken that person that placed that thing and you’ve attached the values that you have the feelings that are most important to you you’ve attached to this person place or thing and they’ve become a sigil for it and now the sigil is gone and your brain has no root to get to it every way that it thinks of getting to it is wrought with pain and as such is a cut off and as such those chemicals that want to be released that’s part of your identity that’s part of vr can’t come into your body because you’re stopping it now because of the narrative and the rule that you need to kind of apply by and as such suffering is the result pain is the result this pain however holds within it the key to your liberation most difficult thing to do right because the moment the pain comes the suffering comes what do people do oh let me drop that antidepressant let me take that medication and i’m not saying don’t do that you know you’re maybe in such an extremely dark place that that may be a healthy option for you until you can develop the mental and psychological resources needed in order to do this transmutation so by all means this is not medical advice if you need the maids take the damn meds okay if you don’t have control over the situation get control take charge of your life don’t be a passive victim be somebody that is responsible for yourself and others that being said though once what i need to do is i need to open up so when i was going through one of my most recent kind of tragedies in that sense um i would feel the rage i would feel i feel the anger you know just bursting through me like i remember one point i’m looking at myself in the mirror i looked like some demon with flames and power but that was me trying to protect my soul from the hurt that was it and i however was the one wielding it not sure i could justify anybody that you know was there could agree with how this other person was the bad person that’s fine but that doesn’t give you any power that doesn’t liberate you doesn’t free you you know that’s the same thing that causes the failure in most relationships isn’t it when you put too much responsibility on the other person especially emotional responsibility we are emotionally responsible for ourselves at the end of the day that’s the only place we have control so when i recognized that i took on these ownerships i took on the ownership of my darkness and that’s what we need to do we need to open ourselves not hide it not go oh no i’m feeling good i’m fine everything’s going to be great no no i am suffering i am hurt i feel like crap you know i’m in pain you need to feel the pain so you can get through the pain you need to let it burn through your body because here’s what happens when you let it burn through your body it starts to burn through and link pain to those memories and once we start linking pain to those memories then we can start getting away from them then we can start evaluating them from a different point of view then we can start taking you know the rose-colored glasses by which we put the past experience on and really go was this actually it was this person actually that good was that situation actually that wonderful or was i compromising you know what was the things that it cost me and i can start measuring this is the ugly truth time right because it’s only in the ugly truth time that i can go through and commit to the full death that’s it i need to die from all those positive emotional experiences that doesn’t mean i don’t look back and i go oh you know what there is great learning you know but that’s the next stage the first stage the death stage is where i feel the pain i let it overcome i let it burn through me and then here i move into as that burning continues and as it completes now i can get to the essence which is the albedo stage the albedo is the whitening as i look into that past memory and those past experiences in this past journeys i go oh wait wait wait wait what i actually left was not was not this person was the way i felt when i was with this person what i loved was actually the feeling of connection what i loved was actually the feeling of beauty what i loved was the feeling of being significant you see now here’s where we come into the core things tony robbins talks about the six human needs you know certainty uncertainty connection significance growth and contribution now we can very easily relate those six needs to the six major planets the exception of the seventh planet the sun and when we do this we kind of can see these relationship to how these needs are driven within our psyche they’re driven within our chakras they’re fundamental to who we are and here’s the catch you suffer as long as you look only to the past as a way to meet those needs at a high and powerful level that’s it you see you go and here’s the problem this is not an easy thing because especially if you were in a relationship you invested together in creating maps of meaning of the future models of reality where you were going to maybe get married or you’re gonna have kids or you were gonna do a business together or you were whatever those things were so there’s a lot of unresolved identities or vehicles by which you were planning on meeting those six fundamental human needs and that’s why you’re suffering that’s why you’re in pain and you have to give all that up you have to die to each and every one of those by questioning it by experiencing the pain and asking yourself what else was horrible not just don’t just feel a bit of pain amplify the pain and go oh what else is stupid about this how would i have suffered long term if this didn’t happen now how would have that been even worse and you make it even more worse so your brain immediately goes like i don’t even want to go there i need to cut this off it needs to end now and it’s ready for change now we move into albedo in albedo while we’re in a beater we go like okay but what was that idea what was the principle what was the need that was being met significance i was significant this way oh i was feeling connection this way or there was be i was feeling understood you know and you look at all of these concepts now you start finding the remnants of the soul the remnants the spirit within the vehicle the vehicle was the past relationship individual journey whatever it was that’s where it all was you need to extract the soul and purify it now that’s what we’re doing we’re purifying it and we’re getting the pure white essence and when we get the pure white essence it’s no longer attached to the person the place the thing or the event right because these are the things that bind our ego and our personality and creates our personality and that’s what needs to be shifting so that we can get new experiences because we can step out of that and be morbid and angry and pain because we’re not opening the heart and you know we’re going to keep causing suffering we’re going to still keep getting unhealthy relationships bad situations or stay lonely or stay in pain or something we’re not getting new opportunity because everyone’s out to get us whatever the narrative is that is now you know fighting inside of this struggle for meaning but as we extract the essences in the albedo phase we go hmm you know what this person actually wasn’t amazing at all they weren’t i was amazing because i was able to experience these profound states of beauty if that other person experienced those profound states of beauty they would have still been there your relationship with the same thing with the business partners would they’d still be there because they experienced that this wasn’t your failure all right no matter what you may think it’s their failure you know it’s no one’s real problem it’s just life it’s transmutation it’s healing it’s alchemy we’ll get to the why soon inside of this when you recognize this you recognize that that person those people that situation could have never seen what you see they can’t experience things they weren’t there so you weren’t actually that close to begin with this is why we think about it in the ministry traditions think about your life how long has it got taken for you to get to where you are now do you think it’s actually possible for someone to reject you if after all this year the total of your life you don’t even fully know you so how can you reject you how can somebody that’s only known you for a year or a few years actually know you enough to reject you it’s physically impossible hence why there needs to be stages of initiations and the principles of of a cult or a relationship or any of these dynamics and it’s a progression to get to these stages or develop it they didn’t reject you they rejected the vehicle you know and you can always improve the vehicle you can always build another vehicle and that’s what you’re doing you’re transmitting more to create a more effective vehicle that’s still going to create the experiences you want to at a higher level with those that are more worthy of it by making you more worthy of it as well so as we start to extract our soul extract the values from the past by burning those things up completely we start recognizing oh i want that significance i want that connection i want that growth this was the stuff that made me feel good and that’s the real essence this is what was behind it now i can offer it a new vehicle you see now i get into rubido rubido literally the rose of the sun you see this can be now attributed to osiris resurrected you see where in the previous in the repeater phase we can say apophis and you know there will be mixed opinions on this but i’m just giving you one frame we finally cut off we finally cut off from the morning you know our attachment biologically to those things we’ve given up that those are the only ways that these feelings or experiences can come we’ve extracted and seen like what the qualities are we were really missing and now we’re changing meaning we’re changing the models of reality we’re changing the shifts so that we can come to a space that we can experience those things independent of any person place time thing and or event you see this is the nature of reality whatever you feel attached to is going to be taken away that’s the nature of life no matter what it is you know and it may not be now it may not be maliciously it it may just be because you know death is going to happen eventually you know everything is going to die including yourself we might as well recognize that that’s the nature of the game and start finding beauty inside of it finding something sacred inside of it by not being attached inside of it but being able to love it and as we do this as we start to recognize oh you know what the qualities that i really want the qualities that i really am and i started recognizing this now i can offer a new narrative a new vehicle new beliefs new models of the world by which i can meet that at a more congruent way you see in the past you may have had incongruent ways my incongruent one for example was um you know i can only be strong and people couldn’t see my vulnerable side um unless they were inside of this kind of one circle or one group yet i wanted to be able to be completely integrated my various components yet here i had that bridge and i could only show this great love to people that were very highly worthy of it i couldn’t open and laugh to people that weren’t that worthy of it by social terms i had to break i had to go through that in order to die in order to open myself to more of myself and learning to love others i learned new ways to love and enjoy me and when i was able to enjoy me i was able to accept myself at a greater level and learning to accept myself at a far greater level well firstly it gave birth to this channel it gave birth to a lot of other things that allowed me to not congruently express various aspects of my component without having to wear a mask without having to do this or having to do that you know because i had to segment the components now i still use segmentation but now in an intelligent way because i understand marketing and i understand business i understand communication and i’m doing it in congruent i’m no longer doing it though because i’m trying to hide and that’s one of the most important factors i could be light and dark you know i could be both but i could operate from a functional place this has allowed me to use pain in a productive way in myself and in the world as well as use pleasure use my light and my darkness in a constructive way to bring about peace this was when my rabito started this is when my personal when i started being able to kind of like reintegrate that part this is osiris resurrected in other words i’ve gone you’ve gone through the pain the darkness the negrito you’ve found the essence the qualities of it you know the albedo the essential nature of it and now you can reintegrate it in rubido you can other words you can go and go okay that was the old vehicle that was the old way of me meeting this what is the new one what is the new paradigms the new rules the new belief systems the new concepts you know one of the first ones was you know everything i desire and like i’m a weird person you know let’s be honest if you’re watching the channel chances are you’re pretty weird too but here’s the facts a lot of people like that have a model of reality that believe that they are limited in other words there’s only a few people that’ll understand them that’s the fault if you instead opened up and that’s what i started doing i was like you know what there’s an endless amount of people that think the way i do there’s an endless amount of beautiful high quality interesting fascinating people that are as invested as i am as dedicated as i am that love learning and exploring as much as i am and now that i was able to do that and i was really i didn’t go oh but when i meet them i’m going to have the connection because i learned you know from the pain i was like i have that connection and this is where my model shifted my narrative shifted my ideas shifted i created a new body i burned the old body pure in the greedo i found the essence of that body and then i bought a new body a new narrative a new vehicle new identity that still meets those fundamental needs those fundamental drives of who i am at the core but now in a healthy better more improved way that now makes my personality better because i’ve got those learnings i’ve got that feedback i’ve got that data and now i go oh you know what it’s fine i don’t need to not put pressure i don’t need to be attached i don’t need to feel needy i don’t even feel any of that stuff because i’m connected to the universe and i’m connected to myself and i know who i am and i know how much i can overcome and how i can take on any challenge and no matter how rough it is no matter what happens i can still be good i can still love who i am as a person i don’t have to be angry i don’t have to be evil i don’t have to be any of that stuff i can just be you know fulfilled so when i recognize this that i could start shifting in narrative and suddenly even my quantum mystical world views my alignment so my hierarchy suddenly started making sense and my work and my results tripled you know my my success in business my possibilities in relationship so everything just took on entire new levels my health everything just started improving and i recognized that i was running a program unconsciously for 35 for 30 something plus years and i wasn’t aware of it i was still playing out a false narrative you know that i was a victim of and that’s the biggest thing about shadow work and about all this work people look at this stuff and go like okay cool i’m gonna do shadow work i’m gonna be fine i’m gonna move on no you’re not you’re not you’re gonna do this work for years and you’re gonna discover something that you were not conscious of that’s how it works that’s what magic does dark puff leads us into this place to do this transformative work within ourselves and that’s what’s in so why is this alchemy so important and what is the big kind of key for it here with a big takeaway you see jesus um or yeheshua and joseph was referred to as the logos the logos meaning word word however being related to vibration the same way the ohm is a word or vibration or a fundamental tone the idea here though that it is the vibration that is harmonious or at the essential quintessential if you will behind all things behind nature behind humans behind everything now that’s it that’s something that we start to understand when we start to explore the nature of consciousness and the progression levels of it we start to see that the conscious mind is controlled by the subconscious subconscious by the unconscious the unconscious is deeply influenced by the collective unconscious and all these kind of progressive lines you know the further we go down into biology we realize that a lot of us you know we’re controlled by these unconscious impulses these you know parts of our our personal history parts of our genetic history as well they all have parts to play inside of this process but this all been collectively producing what is our unique signature or our secret name as the old egyptians used to call it that is our vibrational essence so what is it what does it mean to be logos it means someone who has taken that vibratory quality and purified it till it is in alignment with the essential essence of all things once someone is able to do that they’re able to enter into rapport aka love with all nature all people all living things that exist and once you are in love or in rapport let’s be specific here because love can be very easily confused in our modern days for romance you know and these fundamental points which is completely not its original utilization the magical cults it is to be in rapport and we understand anything from nlp once we are in rapport with something then and only then are we able to influence it move it or lead it in another space in other words that which is god is that which is an ultimate rapport with man woman animal nature everything it is the essential self that is why if we look at translations of the tetragrammaton i’m the ultimate unity with all duality it gives us these kind of guidelines of the mystical path of these stages of progression that leads us into that so your pain your breakups your you know failed business attempts all of that stuff you have a choice you know you can get stuck at that negredo stage you know it’s just pain or you can go through it because if you go through it and you extract the essential qualities you get to see what your soul actually is who you really are what you really want what you’re really made out of and then you get to evolve that into a vehicle that is no longer narratives written for you by other people by histories by the narrative that is now constructed from your own soul now you bring yourself into a place where meeting your fundamental needs in other words being aligned with your fundamental self becomes something that is congruent how many of us find this with spiritual teachers and practitioners you know they’re they’re great inside of a setting you know and it’s one of my biggest problems a lot of like these eastern mystics that guy’s fantastic when he’s up on the stage and he has his thousands of followers doing everything for him but if he has to come into our country he’d probably be a [ __ ] you know he’d be on the streets begging for money because as david data says you know function flow and glow he’s got a lot of glow you know he has very poor function you know because he’s not been taught he’s not learned to integrate those components and that is one of the core differences between the magical philosophy and the mystical philosophy you know in terms of the magical philosophy we need to integrate we need to transmute we need to do this inner work in order to become more effective and we use reality as our feedback map but we don’t go oh it’s you or it’s them or it’s that or anything like that we look at ourselves and we take absolute and total responsibility because we are gods in the making right we each and every one of us has the divine within us however you want to label that whatever um persona you want to place on top of that for your stage of relationship to it it is important though that we recognize that whatever persona we place upon it will determine more rules and more narratives for us to work through until we can finally achieve a pure relationship with our own divinity you see we all have constructs social ones you know ones that we get from religion ones that we get from philosophy that determine this map to determine this relationship that gets us to that space but it ultimately accomplishes this you see a lot of the work that we do the reason we keep going through these alchemical processes is because the elemental work is consistently with us the elemental work is the sexual emotional transmutation you know of our psyche the maturing of our energy the working through you know our attachment wounds our archetypes and maturing these into a refined state so we can mature truly spiritually though the sexual component the heart component and the hit component are completely aligned that’s the holy trinity of you that needs to be accomplished you see as long as we’re going through that we’re going to be repeating the cycle this you know wheel of reincarnation this karma this causing effect in this process but the second you start to understand it you can start making it work for you but now that you understand the full spectrum of it you need to recognize this one fundamental truth that reality reflects you if your world’s not the way you want to sure it’s it can be situations that are outside of your control but you still have the power to take yourself out of that situation you have the power not to engage you have the power to proactively engage because even non-action is a form of action so you need to be aware of things at all levels because becoming magi means becoming aware of that reality is the result of communication and that communication is magic you see once we recognize this and begin this alchemical process through our elements we begin to understand that magic at its root is meaning making the same way you looked and you went through that process and you learned to understand how you were suffering because of the meaning that you were putting behind those things and how that meaning determines your access to these fundamental forms of the soul the meaning itself was actually the vehicle now you can empower yourself with new meaning and this is what magic’s about magic is the construction of meaning because meaning bursts emotion and emotion bursts behavior and it’s related so deeply within one another because out of that then we do action we take action or we don’t take action and it’s in that do or don’t take action that determines what results we’re going to get in life and those results stack upon one another and that ultimately leads us in the you know direction that is our life the purpose of our life you know many would say it’s the gods or it’s this or it’s that these are helpful metaphors they’re helpful ways for us to relate to the archetypes and there are multiple dimensions beneath that i mean we’re speaking purely from a kabbalistic point now in the terms of his eye there is the yetzeratic level there it’s there is there is there are multiple levels of reality and multiple levels of truth but that is the subject you know really only worth investigating once we’ve gotten the first levels down that’s an important thing you know a lot of people follow this magical practice system and they’re trying to hit it at the top you know they want to get all the powers all the stuff and that’s great but you know as a great spiritual mystic once said you know those are you know they’re distractions for most people and they are because they will get so caught up in preaching and teaching that they failed to do the work and i felt to get the growth and what happens is you may have a lot of enlightenment but you have a vehicle that can’t handle the enlightenment and the result is insanity all right so i hope this has been useful for you i hope you found some powerful ideas from this concept and i just want to recap in a closing thing and please you know stay on enjoy the closing of one of my old little remnants of you know my past healing experiences and journeys but remember this because one of the things that i was doing in that as corny as that piece is it’s so close to me and it is because i took pain and i used art which in that case was video and music and i and some editing and i made a little bit of a micro story around it and that was taking pain and turning it into art by changing the meaning around it by shifting meaning i was able to shift myself and by shifting myself i was able to change my vibrational point and as such what i was open to or closer now a vibrational point is something that we can argue and confuse ourselves based on this esoteric mumbo jumbo but you know we’ve described now how that is the vibration that shifts the emotion it’s just the behavior you know that changes the personality and as you know um joe dispenses personal reality creates a personal personality produces personal reality you see through that i was systematically constantly evolving and shifting my personality vehicle to align me more congruently with the people that i really wanted the places that i really wanted the opportunities i really desired till today i can have i can honestly say that i live a life that i’m proud of i was able to overcome a lot of challenges i was able to create a life that’s congruent with who i am at my core and nothing beats that nothing beats being able to live your life your way and however magical or non-magical that may be you have the right to it so go out take these and take this information and use it to live deliciously a tv monster is not interesting enough if he’s just purely bad because what is that it doesn’t make sense to us in our human experience because we know that anger is usually follow or the manifestation of a deeper hurt and pain and pain i think is the most consistent teacher that we all have as human beings we find ourselves suffering in life consistently regardless of where we are it’s not necessarily a bad thing it’s it’s even the suffering symbol is a frustration that you’ve reached some kind of plateau in your life and you’re you’re ready for the next stage of manifestation of experience and that frustration is necessary kind of like the the pain of birth that you have to go through in order to get into this world in the first place the suffering that happens in that moment but the glory that follows itself that satisfaction a satisfying experience of being alive of taking your first breath of having the conclusion of that torture being worth it and i think that’s one of the greatest things and the things that we feel the most in love with in life is not people that give up when they face tragedy as we all do but the ones that the underdog the one that rises against it so we’re fascinated by the mind and the different corridors it takes because we all have that moment when tragedy hits us when chaos befalls us that we that we have to make a decision and i believe it’s in those decisions that our destiny is formed it’s in those moments that we unfold our true fundamental suffer who we’re going to be and what our life is going to be about um i remember once i i was going through a very personal tragedy and i was sitting across a dinner table with a friend and we were having a conversation about things and she asked the topic came on to like how calm this happens and why do we continue to suffer and i said something that dawned on me in that moment because it was a very simple philosophy that i had which is the reason we feel the heart break that we feel the pain of the heart is not really because it’s it’s breaking at all but it’s because it’s been frozen for so long it’s been locked in a certain death tune um by which we we’ve been pretending to be alive but we’ve been locked in such a pattern and we’re so used to that habit that we’re afraid for it to break and that that breaking that pain is really just the ice melting off of our hearts so we can love again so we can learn again and then why then why does it still hurt and i believe the reason it still hurts is the same way that is necessary that how pain is necessary for growth is that cells themselves have to split in order to create sister cells and so do we our old initial version of reality our initial version of ourselves has to itself fragment has to itself break so that we can cut the the incongruent parts the facets that do not work and we can be born again so to speak into a new reality we can shape shift as the old shamans used to refer to it where context of identity has to almost redefine itself recreate itself the thing that’s on that’s so consistent or so beautiful in that moment is the recognition of self and the ability to begin and trust and sound because there’s nothing more congruent in that moment when all things around you fall and shatter to pieces and the only thing you’re left with is you and that’s when you learn to love i think for the first time really it’s the moment you learn to accept yourself it’s the moment that you close your eyes and you learn to breathe maybe it’s just the quiet the sound of the noise and it’s in those deep profound moments when there’s nothing else left and just you and you realize that that’s a good start it’s really good and stuff that first time you’re not judging yourself based on television and you’re not arguing with yourself based upon what you think you should be or how you think you should act or anything like that you just you’re beautiful because you’re honest and you’re wrong and you’re feeling every single thing and it’s in that moment i believe that if you live is coming up with yourself it’s when you literally truly touch him maybe for the first time it’s that that makes us beautiful it’s that we have in common regardless of race creed religion tradition or certain philosophies or psychologists and it’s this that’s inspired me i think this is what’s inspired myself and the wonderful people that we work with i mean we’re recreating the deadly singing part we have it’s controversial so we did it because i wanted to say the things about you that you think along with you’ve been curious since forward in a total career is just it’s just you trying if still trying to find things that make sense to laugh at me through the world desiring of the father i find that interesting because i believe that anything we want to be paranoid but we have the capacity to get there but you can’t just get there by default we have to be willing to shape shift we have to be willing to pull to crash to even look at ourselves in a different way and approach ourselves for a different experience it’s the submission of love because that’s what life does you can have everything figured out and imagine that you’ve got everything controlled [Applause] [Music] what i realized was it’s in the submission of life that we find ourselves [Music] i’ve always felt a little different a little uneasy between regular [ __ ] a bit of a dreamer a lost cause a little non-ordinary some would say i think i’ve always just been this way my mother said i was special my father thought i should be feared but i knew that witchcraft coursed through my veins the first time i tasted the lips of the goddess inside the right yes i’m a witch it’s true and sure we are the ones who believe in the beauty of nature who believe in the things science absent of art cannot explain who instead of religion would have romance and sure you may think we have lost our way when in the world of predictable things we have such unfamiliar things that we would like to say but maybe in a world so cold and alone a little unfamiliar is exactly what is needed to show us the way home hey family it’s adam knox here thanks for supporting this podcast and you know these ideas i really appreciate free thinkers you know like yourselves that are willing to challenge conventional norms and think for themselves and take on new challenges and look at new ideas and as such i want to say that if you haven’t yet if you are looking at ways to improve your knowledge over the entire field and you’re looking at a you know regular feed of ideas and concepts to keep improving yourself i’d like to invite you to sign up at thecult of you all my teachings and all my ideas are there for only 19 a month and every month i bring you a completely new section of some of the most cutting ideas and i’m constantly adding to that so i’m constantly reviewing and adding more knowledge as i gain them and you’ll see a lot of the interviews and a lot of things that i do extend on some of the subjects that i cover inside of those areas i do take quite a bit of effort to make sure the forming is also quite good and to give you not just a demonstration of rituals but also talk you through the psychology behind them so that you’re empowered to do them and i cover every subject under the sun from science to art to magic to all the different systems out there from the golden dawn to the western trade of the western traditions to the lithian path traditions we discussed technology and technomancy we discuss sex magic and seduction we discuss so much more from purely the mental aspects to how do you deal with the darkness when it comes up as well as how do you take those things into business and into your romantic life as well as what are the keys to make your magic work as well as to unlock different degrees of spirituality so if you haven’t yet please consider signing up at the cult of you and you’ll be able to send me a mail and message there and i’ll be there to help you your personally through mail correspondence and chat you and guide you through the entire process and if you make it through the first year of the entire cycle and you graduate the second year of the program you’re able to have direct sessions with myself and some of the members of my temple and i look forward to helping you whether you go that route or not please keep enjoying these podcasts please share them with people that you think there are they’re gonna find value of them like and subscribe to the show and please send me your messages to info at the cult of you i would love to hear what are things that are important to you what are ideas and concepts that this raised maybe this inspired you maybe this you know made sense to you maybe this opened up something i’d love to hear that please talk to me and please share with me write in the comments and give me your ideas and concepts if you’re watching this on the youtube channel if you’re not if you’re only watching this on the youtube channel please head on over to spotify and do subscribe and if you’re listening to this in spotify go check us out on youtube but please share this share these ideas and these concepts and let’s let’s have a conversation i’d love to hear from you that’s it for me i’m adam knox this is the cult of you and remember live [Applause] deliciously


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